Night School Part IV – Sex

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The Arousing Conclusion of 

NIGHT SCHOOL

Part IV – SEX

Founder of E'cole Nuit - Kristine Isberg Photo by Erik Patton

Kristine Isberg
Photo by Erik Patton

It’s Friday and time for our final session of Night School. If you haven’t been following this series on Men and Sexuality, I’m Kristine, founder of L’ECOLE NUIT Boudoir Lingerie . Well Done Boston has enlisted me to help men navigate the hidden obstacles between you and a sensational sex life. Up to this point, we’ve covered the initial Attraction stage, moved onto the importance of creating Sexual Tension and then the Seduction . So what comes next – SEX. We’ve reached the climax – so to speak – you have her in your grasp, she wants you, she’s ready, so what do you do next?

Slow down. Yes, I know that sounds counterintuitive and not exactly what you want to do at this point, but foreplay is your best friend. Without foreplay, mostly likely for her there will be no orgasm. And there is nothing worse than leaving a woman unsatisfied. Good news is that everything you have been doing up to this point is part of the foreplay act. But before you can jump right in and experience mind-blowing sex, you need to understand that it takes more for women to be fully aroused than men. We’ve talked about the importance of emotionally and intellectually arousing her, now it’s time to physically arouse her to the point where she is both consciously and unconsciously aroused.

kiss (1)Kissing is one of the most erotic acts we experience. During foreplay, one of the best things to get her fully aroused is the simple act of kissing. And this is also a good way for you to measure her arousal state. The more passionate and intense the kissing gets, the more she is turned on. Next, read her body language. Is she shy, playful or aggressive? Determining how she likes it helps you develop trust and comfort with each other for a more fulfilling sexual experience. Finally making sure to communicate verbally is important to the foreplay act. This is probably the most difficult area to navigate, especially when you are not long-term partners and unfamiliar with each other’s desires. Unless you are confident in what she wants and expects, keep the “dirty talk” to a minimum, if at all. Many sex articles will advocate you tell your lover exactly what you want done to you, but it can also send a woman running for the door. I would only recommend this if you’ve been intimate before and know the boundaries. Otherwise, too much talking could be a huge turn-off.

imageBeing able to let yourself go is key to having great sex. Therefore, letting go of any inhibitions is pivotal to achieving a deeply satisfying orgasm. She needs to trust and feel comfortable with you in order to completely give in to her desires. Remember, if she’s not getting any real pleasure, then it’s back to porn sex for you since I guarantee she won’t be back for more. A good lover responds to the needs of his partner. Go at her pace and follow the rhythm of her body and how it responds to you. Be considerate of her needs, not just what gets you off. As with the arousal state, women take longer to orgasm than men. Sorry, but its true. So if she’s not responding, now is the appropriate time to ask her what pleases her and let her tell you what she needs. Her pleasure will increase your pleasure and lead to much more fulfilling sex.

Sex can be broken down to three essential components: foreplay, intercourse, afterplay. Now that you’ve experienced the big “O”, what’s next? Afterplay gives both you and her a chance to come down from the ecstatic high of climaxing. Don’t assume that all women want to cuddle after sex. That’s not what the afterplay is about. It’s simply a time to appreciate each other and the intimacy you just shared. A few words of appreciation or praise, or perhaps some seeds for the next tease – because isn’t that what we all want – more SEX….

Kristine Isberg

Kristine Isberg

Founder of L'ecole Nuit

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